'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
