the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you will always have a special place in my vag
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
