not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
