Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
