Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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