TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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