Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
