Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
