She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize