Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
