Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
