I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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