Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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