somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
