i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
