just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
