Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The adults are the big ones right?
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