You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
