I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
