The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
