just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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