I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
