just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
