And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
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Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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