You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
