I am puke
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
