I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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