do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
