new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
