I need help removing her.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
