So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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