Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize