I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
