I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
