so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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