so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
