It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
