I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
should my penis look like a turkey
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
