oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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