i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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