last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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