have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
