last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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