Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
