i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She even gives head with a lisp.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I will pee on everything he values.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
