careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
