I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You were trust falling into bushes
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