I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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