Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
