I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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