Your face is a jimmy john
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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