ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
