We're like a lot better than the average bears
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
