You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
How did I end up in the pool?!
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He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
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I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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