I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
