i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
