You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
