He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
whose ass print is on the piano?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
