Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
