There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
