Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
