worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize