I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
